No one plans on dying; at least I don’t think they do. Maybe the people who are depressed or suicidal toy with the idea of ending their lives but I doubt for most of them it’s a cherished goal. So it was a big surprise when it happened to me.
I got up that day and got dressed as usual. I had breakfast, dried my hair then locked the dogs in the kennel and went off to work. I never saw the deer until it was hit by the garbage truck and became airborne flying right at my windshield.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion. The deer careened through the air as its body twisted into a contorted form that no longer resembled a deer. I can still recall feeling the thud as the mass of fur, mush and bones hit the windshield causing the airbag to deploy. When the airbag hit me in the face I lost control of my car and I went off the road, down the ditch and into the swamp, which felt more like a roller coaster ride with the fat lady in front of me’s white coat flapping in my face than an accident. My seatbelt held me tight as my car came to a sudden stop, causing the forward motion to changed direction which in turn flipped my car over.
There I was, hanging upside down in my seat as freezing water rushed in around me. I had no way of unbuckling the seatbelt as my right hand was broken and my left arm was numb dangling above my head. My cell phone had been in my purse but I didn’t zip it shut so I had no idea where it was now. My head was getting cold as the level of the water was rising. I could hear gurgling, which was now louder than the radio, as the water continued to fill my car. I started to shake. Did my husband know just how much I loved him? Did my kids know?
My head started to hurt from the cold as the water level rose higher and higher. Wasn’t somebody going to help me? That guy in the garbage truck had to have known someone was in my car. I tried to bend so that I could breathe but my back hurt and I couldn’t move. I held my breath. As I was holding my breath I felt a warm touch on my shoulder and I heard my Mom’s voice. Her touch calmed my fear, my head no longer hurt. Nothing hurt.
I was now outside of my car looking at the mangled tin and broken plastic. There was an orange haze around my car, kind of like fog. I could now see the driver of the garbage truck as he came out of the water near my car dragging a water logged blanket, no a jacket, no – me, behind him as he climbed up the embankment. He was crying.
My Mom touched my shoulder again. I turned to look at her but it wasn’t my Mom, it was a very large being that dwarfed my presence with just his breath. I was drawn to him and without effort began to follow him. As we began to move somehow I knew that it was Charles, my protector, whom I was following. He outstretched his arm; I followed closer as if being lead by the pull of a magnetic force.
As we moved on I looked about and saw things that I had never seen before. I felt as though they had always been there but I was not able to see them before. There were purple-green beings hiding in the trees while the golden-orange beings floated about as if playing a game of tag while sparks of white lights would erupt near them then quickly fade away.
I started to look back toward the accident but felt Charles telling me not to. I looked forward. My heart began to ache as I thought about my family. I then felt Charles telling me that they will be fine. I look up at him as he looked down at me and knew what he was saying without any words having been spoken. I faced forward and closed my eyes, I could still see. I felt safe in his presence.
I then felt a tug at my foot, then at both my feet. As the tugging became stronger I looked up at Charles, and then reached toward him. We stopped moving forward. The tugging increased and then areas within my body began to hurt. The hurt turned into sharp stabbing pains. I grabbed for Charles’ robe but it moved away from my hand the way the north pole of one magnet repels the north pole of another magnet. I was confused.
I looked down; I was now above the accident, watching the people. I could see the deer that had been hit off in the distance romping through the tall grass with other deer. They all looked like they were made of glass as the light that emanated from each of them glistened off of the grass and then faded.
I started to convulse uncontrollably. My chest hurt and my head began to hurt. My body became still. I reached my right hand up but it wasn’t there. I coughed. I could now hear voices, it was different than when Charles spoke to me and I could smell scents. I smelled mold. I tried to open my eyes but they weren’t closed. I saw Carey, and Andy, and thought ‘I know them’. My chest hurt more and now my back hurt. I looked for Charles but he wasn’t there. I cried.
“She’s alive!” I heard someone yell.
I felt my body being lifted up and moved about but not like before. It now felt like I was tied to a board and the board was being moved. I felt cold. I tried again to look for Charles but I could no longer move my head. Then I felt his presence, I felt calm. Everything around me got dark, and silent.
I opened my eyes; I was in a hospital room. I looked around but couldn’t move my head. Then I noticed an odd smell, a very pungent smell that seemed to be a cross between rotting flesh and food that had been left in the fridge weeks longer than they should have been. I looked as far to the left as my eyes could move and that’s when I saw it, a dark mass with rotting flesh hanging on its bones. It smiled at me. Then I felt Charles’ presence near me and the dark mass disappeared.
I felt someone gently touch my hand. It was a warm touch, a touch filled with love. I focused toward where the touch came from and I saw my husband. He looked different, he looked sad and there was a dark haze about him. Then I noticed Charles standing behind my husband along with another smaller being. The smaller being touched my husband’s shoulder and the dark haze dissipated.
My husband spoke to me but I didn’t understand him. He looked up and talked to a Nurse who had just walked into the room. I looked towards her and saw numerous small dark hunched over beings following behind her. They appeared to be more like naughty elementary kids
(unfinished – more to come)